Living in a Grafted Tree

Yesterday I was perusing Twitter when I came across a story about a new law taking effect in Illinois.  The law allows anyone who was adopted to request a non-certified copy of their original birth certificate.  Why does that matter to me?  I am adopted.  I was two months old when I came to live with my family.  So that story stopped me dead in my tracks.

I am comfortable with being adopted.  I've always know I was adopted.  I feel that I was pretty damn lucky to end up where I did.  While I grew poor, I grew up loved.  Now, my mom and I had our issues, and still do.  But never did I question the love my family felt for me.  It should be obvious by reading my blog that my dad was my best friend, my hero.  And I know a few things about why my birth mother relinquished me.  The bits and pieces that I know are that she was a teenager.  Her mother was possibly recently divorced.  In my mind, she gave me the best possible gift she could.  She set me up to have the life she couldn't give me.

If I am so comfortable with my adopted status, why would I want to know more.  There are times in my life when I get melancholy about what I don't know.  When people talk about their nationality, I typically change the subject or smile.  I have some indication that I'm French by birth, but I can't be for sure.  When I lost my first pregnancy and found out it was a genetic factor, being adopted really hit me hard.  Could I have prevented that tragedy if I had known?  Probably one of the biggest moments in knowing that I need to know from whence I came was when I had Boo.  I held him for the first time and looked into those big, brown eyes and realized I was looking into my eyes.  I had never had that experienced that.  I had never known someone of my own flesh and blood until I created him.  That's the best I can explain it.

I immediately called the county courthouse yesterday and asked what I needed to do to request the birth certificate.  They referred me to the Illinois Department of Health website where I downloaded the forms so I could fill them out.  I copied my certified birth certificate and driver's license this morning and mailed it off.  Now I wait.  There's a chance that she has already requested that my birth certificate be resealed.  She has that right.  As of yesterday 350 birth parents had already done so.  Time will tell.