Live As Well As You Dare!

If you were lying on your deathbed, what would you regret most not having done? Have you ever thought about it? Two summers ago, I gave it some thought. I was in a quite different place in my life. Personally and professionally I was a HOT MESS. Not that I don’t have moments I’m a hot mess now, but then it was ugly. For someone who admittedly has control issues, there were many things that were out of my hands and I was making poor decisions to compensate for them. I knew I needed to do something to restore a semblance of sanity and order to my life; I needed to think about what I really wanted for myself. As trite as it is, I had the line from Life’s Little Instruction Book in my head “Be bold and courageous. When you look back on your life, you’ll regret the things you didn’t do more than the ones you did.” So I created a bucket list.

What 100 things did I want to do before I died? Now, to be honest, I haven’t gotten 100 things on my list as of yet. I want 100 things on it, because I’m an overachiever. I don’t want to have 10 and get them done and wonder what else. And to be perfectly honest, I have to tell you that I haven’t revisited my list since I crafted it almost two years ago. I think the visualization and self-reflection it took to start the list made it possible for me to set myself on a positive tract. A conversation last night got me thinking about it again…what all had I put on it? Were those things still important to me? What else might I had now?

So this morning I pulled up my list and took a look and thought about it why I had originally included those things. I revised my list a little today, added a few, removed a few and strategized how to complete some of them.

• Drive Route 66 in a convertible.
  I had a convertible for a while and loved every day I could put the top down. I drove it from St. Louis to Starved Rock State Park one weekend, top down the whole way (that’s a whole other story) but fell in love with the idea of driving it across the country. The drawback was that I was a poor teacher then, with friends who couldn’t take off two weeks in the summer to tackle my adventure. The romantic notion hasn’t left me. And when I hit California, I’ll drive the coast!
• Go to Carnival in Rio.
  The splendor of Carnival has always been alluring. In my mind it’s like Mardi Gras with a little more class and Latin flair. I realize that could be a misperception, but I’m willing to head south of the border and check it out for myself.
• Find my birth parents.
  This is one I’ve started and stopped a few times. It’s one that really scares me but something I need to do for many reasons. I know someday I will go after it full force. For now I know my leads are accurate. I just need to take the next step and be prepared to accept what I may find.
• Ride a century.
  As much as I ride my bike, I have never ridden a century. I’ve hit 75-85 miles multiple times, but never done the full 100. It’s an important milestone for a cyclist. Maybe the MS150 in September will let me cross this one off my list.
• Be a published author.
  As evidenced by the fact that I keep a blog, I like to write. Although my dissertation is copyrighted, I’ve never published any of my research. I did submit an article for publication early this spring, have not gotten the rejection letter, but also haven’t gotten the acceptance letter. I can tell you I won’t be writing the great American novel, but I’ve plugging away at this one.
• Learn to swim.
  Even though I’m often referred to as a tri by my cyclist friends, I swim like a rock, or at least like a young child in the midst of his first set of swim lessons. I’m not afraid of the water, I just never had the opportunity as a child to really be in the water. Columbia didn’t have a public pool and we didn’t have the money to join the private one. I’ve signed up for adult lessons at the Y to have them cancelled and just need to fit private lessons in my schedule. I know once I do that though I’ll have the need to compete in triathlons. Then I have to embrace the run more. It’s just a big vicious cycle.
• Take a plantation tour in New Orleans.
  I fell in love with NOLA in 1994. I’ve visited the city more times than I can count but have never done this. The splendor of the South and it’s larger-than-life living is alluring to me.
• Watch a stage of the Tour de France.
  Here’s the cyclist in me again. I want to stand along the road in a mountain stage and cheer and get caught up in the festivities. Watching the ToM was phenomenal, but watching the TdF is what it’s all about.
• Camp on a beach.
  I don’t care if it’s Hawaii, California, or in the Northeast. There is something about sleeping on a beach that calls to me. Maybe it’s the campfire and the sound of the ocean before bed. Maybe it’s watching the sunrise in the morning. Maybe it’s more the idea of spending the quiet, beautiful moments with someone and having that memory to share forever.
• Dance at my children’s weddings.
  I think this is every parent’s dream. I want to watch my children grow into successful, happy adults. I want to share important moments in their lives. This one will just take time, patience, sleepless nights and tears of joy and sorrow along the way.

I won’t share my whole list—a girl has to hold a little something back now and then. If you’re brave you can ask me about some I didn’t include. Or if you’re really adventurous, maybe you can tackle a few with me.